-The year was 1856. A party traveling to the undiscovered north-west territory of the USA. Leading this party was internationally known explorers, Jedidiah Spefunkin and Archibald Johnson.
-Jedidiah Spefunkin was a man of the earth. Surviving and learning purely off the land after his parents were mauled by bears shortly after his birth. A master at hunting and fishing, Jedidiah traveled to the north-west to find undiscovered game and flora.
-Archibald Johnson, the opposite side of this coin. A shrewd business man out to strike his next fortune and spoke in purely dollars and cents. Funding the most dangerous sounding expeditions in search of lost civilizations and forgotten treasure under the guise of “Natural research and preservation”
-The wagon party of 40 people accompanied them. Jedidiah famously had a clause in his contracts when taking pioneering jobs. He would require the employer to give up at least three slaves into his care, promptly giving the choice to Join Jedidiah as an equal or make their own course as a free American.
“Never was blessed with a family, always hadda make my own way. But seeing the hope in their eyes, being able to learn new stories, and having people to care for, who care for me. Truly heaven on earth. And may I say, This is some damn fine Chili“-Jedidiah Spefunkin, 1872, “Final interview of the Founder”
-A frigid wind blew through the steadily thickening trees, Archibald led the party as they entered the woods. A map held in his hands. Won with a bluffed pair of two’s, led them farther and farther into the rustling canvas and enveloping muck. Despite Jedidiah’s uneasy warnings about waiting for daylight, Archibald trudged forward. Wagon train begrudgingly in tow.
-Reports of what transpired have been up for debate. From stories of ancient creatures, faceless travelers, shifting geography, possessions, and what was only described as “unearthly technology” (Full reports available at Spefunkin Public Library).
“I’ve been to every corner of the globe, climbed peaks and sailed to islands lost to time, but what was in these woods will haunt me for the rest of my days. If it wasn’t for J.S. I would have lost BOTH of my legs. (quietly) I still feel it when she uses it…”-Archibald Johnson, 1900, Popular Explorer.
-Days passed. Rations grew thin, Archibald’s map proved useless. Jedidiah hunkered down the trains, Heavily armed and protected with Archibald’s collected arms, and a Freed Roma family providing spiritual protection. In search of water and food, Jedidiah found a pristine natural lake, Water welcoming, cold and glistening. Plump creatures surrounding the area. and dense thickets of tangled fruit and berries.
-Their savior came at a price though. With drinking the water of this lake and eating the food that thrived off the same source, the party noticed a strange event occurring. Temporary though substantial growth of assets. Hobbling masses growing through the day as it became the only path to survival.
“It was nothing I could even imagine. clothes tearing, folks screaming in confusion, losing balance as they were buried under their own bits and pieces. dragging my own log behind me I rolled everone on their side to save them from being mashed by their own putatuhs (Laughs)” -Jedidiah Spefunkin. unknown publication
-Through the mounds of flesh Archibald had an idea. In exchange for a percentage of land rights, he shall sell this miracle elixir across the world sending profits to strengthen the city as Jedidiah’s iron solid will and agricultural leadership shall build the city we now know as Spefunkin!
-As generations pass and the city (as well as our citizens) expand for the better, we recall a rich history built on a foundation of survival and opportunity. From our shipping and industrial revolution, to our futuristic ventures in the dairy and agricultural industries. We remember one simple rule as we head towards tomorrow…
Keep on Spefunkin’
Spefunkin Town Hall 